One time, about five years ago, I was in church back home and we were worshiping. I was standing in the back with my hands in the air and I had what I think was a vision. At the time, it seemed like just a strong “mental picture,” but one I was certain God was giving me. It has occurred to me now that perhaps this is what a vision is – a mental picture from God. I’ve never shared it with anyone.
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In this mental picture, I was standing in a wide open salt flat, like in TV car commercials, where the ground is all dried, and craggy, and cracked. At first there was no one there. I looked around and noticed that in the distance there was a swelling of the ground. It was a very subtle rise that occurred over some distance, resulting in a high spot on the land about three to six feet above where I was standing. The total diameter of this “hill” may have been 300 feet from one side to the other.
Then I saw Jesus standing at the highest point of this swelling, at the apex. And as soon as he had appeared, all of a sudden he was surrounded by other people, a mass of people, like an outdoor rock concert. But you could still see him from anywhere you stood because he was standing at the highest point of the swelling and was always roughly a head above everyone else.
At first I was standing in the crowd, near Jesus. People were adoring him and in total awe of his presence. Some were on their knees at his feet. Others reached out towards him from where they stood. Everyone around him was rapt, their eyes were all locked on him. I was standing amongst people who were in the physical presence of someone they had longed for their entire lives. I was standing amongst people that had finally come face to human face with their savior.
But then I found myself at the periphery of the crowd. It was significantly less crowded there. The people were spread further out. I could walk around freely. I could see Jesus in the distance but he was much less a central focus now. Actually the people on the outskirts of the crowd seemed a lot less interested in him, too. Some were not even facing him but had their back to him and were talking amongst themselves. It reminded me of a Pearl Jam concert I went to in high school. My friends and I had spent most of the concert pressed against the front railing, sweating and vibing with the crowd. But as we headed out, early, I was surprised to find people at the back of Tad Gormley stadium, sitting in reclining lawn chairs, chatting and drinking beers. It was like they were at a totally different concert.
The Lord impressed on me that this was the body of Christian believers that exist in the world, this crowd – both those at the center and those on the outskirts. He showed me that some of the people there doted on him and they were there because they truly worshipped him. Others were simply there because a crowd draws a crowd. And some people just happened to stumble upon the scene.
Once I had this understanding I found myself in the middle of the crowd. It was loud like a party, or like a crowd usually is, with people talking to each other and to the scene. But suddenly everyone became hushed. One by one faces began to turn up towards the sky. I looked up too. Far off, in a completely clear sky, I saw something descending. It was a ring of fire and it was rushing down upon us.
People gasped and uttered sounds like screams that they would never get the opportunity to finish. The ring landed on the crowd; right down on the middle of the crowd, with Jesus perfectly at its center. Instantly those who were touched by the ring were burned up. Nothing was left of them. Not a hair or bone. They just disappeared. They left behind them a gap in the crowd about eight feet across, cutting a perfect circle through the people and creating a dividing line between those who were inside the ring and those who were out. There was not a sound coming from anyone.
And in that instant, I existed in two places at once. Bodily, for a moment, I stood both in the inner circle and outside one. Or rather, I experienced the same moment in time, from two different perspectives.
First, I found myself standing on the outside of the divide. I was standing back from the gap, behind a few people. I could see over them, down into the space where the ring came down. The ground was unmarked, unburned but the people that once stood in that space were gone. The division line of standing bodies was sharp and clear and too wide to touch someone on the other side even with your fingertips.
I could see the divide stretching out along my peripheral vision and curving away from me. I looked out across the gap to the other crowd and saw – standing just beyond the edge of the inner circle of people – myself, looking back at me. I looked into my own eyes.
I could see the expression in my face. I could see what I was thinking. I understood immediately the gravity of the statement, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven.” I recognized, in that moment, that God had made a distinction amongst those who would call themselves followers of Jesus. There were some he deemed worthy to be counted in his number and there were some who were outside of that count. I knew from where I was standing that I was out.
Then, or rather, at the same time I was standing inside the circle, a few paces back. Again, the ring had just come down and everyone was deathly silent. I surveyed the rift in the crowd. I looked out over the gap. I looked across to the other crowd, this time to the outer circle, and again saw myself looking back at me. I saw the expression on my face, of fear. I saw the expression of someone who has just had a devastating realization. My exact thoughts for this other me, the me standing in the outside circle were, “You poor man.”
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I woke up from these thoughts and was again conscious of myself standing in our worship hall with my hands in the air. And a wave of panic swept over me. I remember thinking, “How do I know? Where is the line, Lord? How do I know?” And as soon as I had these thoughts I felt God say to me, “You don’t know. No one knows. But what you can know is that the closer you draw to Jesus the more likely you are to make it. That is what you can know.”
